10 Common Female Narcissist Traits

by Ryan Hart | Updated on October 6, 2023 | Post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Female narcissists may display distinct traits that set them apart from their male counterparts.

They may be preoccupied with their appearance, materialistic, and prone to envy and jealousy. They may also use manipulative tactics such as gaslighting and passive-aggressive behavior to get what they want.

Understanding these traits can help you recognize a female narcissist and protect yourself from their manipulations.

In the following sections, we will discuss the traits of narcissistic women in more detail and provide tips on how to deal with their manipulations.

Signs of a Narcissistic Woman

Narcissism is not just a trait or a behavior but a complex psychological disorder that affects a person’s ability to function in relationships, work, and other areas of life. People with NPD often have a distorted sense of reality and may struggle with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.

It is important to note that not all people with narcissistic traits have NPD. However, when these traits are severe and persistent, they can cause significant problems in relationships and other areas of life.

Some common traits of female narcissists include a need for attention and admiration, a lack of empathy for others, a sense of entitlement, and a tendency to exploit others for their own benefit.

They may also be manipulative, controlling, and prone to anger and aggression when they do not get their way.

If you suspect that someone you know might be a female narcissist, it’s essential to be aware of the common traits they exhibit. Here are some of the most common traits of a female narcissist:

Appearance and Materialism

Female narcissists are often preoccupied with their appearance and may spend a lot of time and money on their looks. They may also be materialistic, and they may place a lot of importance on owning expensive items or having a certain lifestyle.

Need for Admiration

Female narcissists crave attention and admiration from others. They may go to great lengths to get this attention and become upset if they feel like they are not receiving enough of it.

Lack of Empathy

One of the most common traits of a female narcissist is a lack of empathy. They may have a hard time understanding other people’s feelings, and they may not be able to relate to others on an emotional level.

Manipulative Behavior

Female narcissists may use manipulative tactics to get what they want. They may lie, cheat, or manipulate others to get what they want, and they may not feel guilty about doing so.

Superiority and Arrogance

Female narcissists may have an inflated sense of self-importance and may believe that they are better than others. They may also be arrogant and may look down on others whom they perceive as being beneath them.

Blaming Others

Female narcissists often have a tendency to blame others for their problems or mistakes. They may refuse to take responsibility for their actions and instead shift the blame onto others.

Lack of Boundaries

Female narcissists may have a difficult time respecting other people’s boundaries. They may invade others' personal space, ignore their requests, or push their own agenda onto others.

Competitive Nature

Female narcissists may view everything as a competition and may constantly try to one-up others. They may feel threatened by others' successes and may try to undermine or sabotage them.


Female narcissists may use gaslighting tactics to make others doubt their own perceptions or memories. They may twist the truth, deny things they have said or done, or make others feel like they are going crazy.

Lack of Authenticity

Female narcissists may struggle with being authentic and may put on a false persona to impress others. They may present themselves as perfect or flawless, hiding their true selves and vulnerabilities.

Manipulation Techniques

A female narcissist’s primary goal is to obtain narcissistic supply from those around them.

Narcissistic supply refers to the attention, admiration, and validation that they receive from others. Without this supply, they feel empty and worthless, which is why they will go to great lengths to obtain it.

One of the most common manipulation techniques that they use is gaslighting. This involves manipulating someone into doubting their own perceptions and memories.

They may do this by denying that certain events occurred or by making the other person question their own sanity. This is a powerful way to control someone and make them feel dependent.

Another tactic that they may use is validation. They crave attention and admiration, so they will often seek validation from others.

They may do this by fishing for compliments or by seeking approval from those around them. This can be draining for those around them, as they are constantly required to provide them with the attention and validation that they crave.

Lies and cheating are also common tools in their manipulation arsenal. They may lie to cover up their own mistakes or to make themselves look better in the eyes of others. Cheating can also be a way to obtain narcissistic supply, as it provides a sense of power and control over others.

Gossip is another way that they may manipulate those around them. By spreading rumors or talking behind someone’s back, they can create tension and drama that keeps others focused on them. This can be a way to obtain attention and validation, as well as to create a sense of power and control over those around them.

Finally, they may use downplaying and draining as manipulation techniques. By downplaying the accomplishments of others or by draining their energy and resources, they can make themselves feel more powerful and in control.

Narcissism in Relationships

Narcissistic traits can significantly impact relationships, causing emotional distress and damage. In this section, we will explore the effects of narcissism on romantic relationships and parent-child relationships.

Romantic Relationships

When in a romantic relationship with a female narcissist, you may notice that she is charming and charismatic at first. However, as the relationship progresses, you may begin to feel manipulated and controlled.

Narcissists tend to lack empathy and have a sense of entitlement, which can lead to them disregarding your feelings and needs.

Female narcissists may also have a love-to-hate attitude, where they quickly switch from being loving and affectionate to cold and distant. They may also use manipulation tactics to control the relationship, such as gaslighting or guilt-tripping.

It is essential to set boundaries in a relationship with a narcissist to protect your emotional well-being. However, it can be challenging to do so, as they may become angry or defensive when confronted.

Parent-Child Relationships

Narcissistic mothers can have a significant impact on their children’s emotional development. They may neglect their children’s emotional needs and prioritize their own desires, leading to feelings of abandonment and insecurity.

On the other hand, they may also be overly controlling and demanding, causing their children to feel suffocated and unable to develop a sense of autonomy. Narcissistic mothers may also pit their children against each other, creating a toxic and competitive environment.

It is crucial for children of narcissistic mothers to set boundaries and seek support from outside sources, such as therapy or support groups. It can be challenging to break free from the cycle of manipulation and control, but it is possible with the right resources and support.

Emotional Impact of Narcissism

Dealing with a female narcissist can have a significant emotional impact on your life. The following are some of the emotions you may experience when interacting with a narcissistic woman.

Stress: Interacting with a narcissist can be stressful, as they tend to create drama and conflict wherever they go. They may also try to control and manipulate you, which can be mentally exhausting.

Empathy: Narcissists lack empathy, which means they are unable to understand or care about your feelings. This can leave you feeling unsupported and alone.

Guilt: Narcissists often use guilt as a tool to control others. They may make you feel guilty for not meeting their needs or for setting boundaries.

Emotions: Narcissists tend to have intense emotions, which can be overwhelming for those around them. They may become angry or upset over minor issues, or they may use their emotions as a way to manipulate others.

Shame: Narcissists are often ashamed of their own insecurities and flaws, which they try to hide from others. They may project their shame onto you, making you feel ashamed for things that are not your fault.

Anxiety: Interacting with a narcissist can be anxiety-inducing, as you never know when they will lash out or become upset. This can leave you feeling on edge and constantly worried.

Jealousy: Narcissists may become jealous of your accomplishments or relationships with others. They may try to undermine your successes or isolate you from your support system.

Insecurity: Narcissists are often deeply insecure, which can lead to them belittling or criticizing those around them. This can leave you feeling insecure and unsure of yourself.

Depression: Dealing with a narcissist can be depressing, as they tend to create a negative and toxic environment. They may also make you feel like you are not good enough or that you are constantly failing.

Fear: Narcissists may use fear as a way to control others. They may threaten you or make you feel like you are in danger if you do not comply with their wishes.

Moodiness: Narcissists can be moody and unpredictable, which can make it difficult to know how to interact with them. They may be friendly one moment and hostile the next.

Treatment for Narcissism

Here are some of the ways psychotherapy can help you:

  • Identify the root cause: A therapist can help you identify the underlying causes of your narcissistic behavior. This can include exploring past traumas, experiences, and relationships that may have contributed to your personality disorder.
  • Develop empathy: Narcissists often struggle with empathy, which can make it difficult to form and maintain healthy relationships. Psychotherapy can help you develop empathy and learn how to understand and connect with others on a deeper level.
  • Manage emotions: People with NPD often struggle to manage their emotions, which can lead to outbursts and other negative behaviors. A therapist can help you learn how to regulate your emotions and respond to situations in a more positive way.
  • Change negative thinking patterns: Narcissists often have negative thinking patterns that contribute to their disorder. A therapist can help you identify and change these patterns, which can lead to more positive and healthy behaviors.

It’s important to note that treatment for NPD can be challenging, and progress may be slow. However, with the right therapist and a willingness to change, it is possible to overcome narcissistic personality disorder and live a more fulfilling life.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the common traits of a female narcissist?

Female narcissists may display traits such as being preoccupied with their appearance, having a sense of entitlement, lacking empathy, and being manipulative. They may also be highly competitive and jealous of others.

How do female narcissists behave in relationships?

In relationships, female narcissists may be controlling, emotionally abusive, and manipulative. They may use their partner for their own gain and lack empathy towards their partner’s feelings and needs.

How can you protect yourself from a female narcissist?

To protect yourself from a female narcissist, it is important to set boundaries and stick to them. It may also be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. It is important to remember that you are not responsible for the narcissist’s behavior and to prioritize your own well-being.

What are some red flags to look out for when dating a woman with narcissistic traits?

Red flags to look out for when dating a woman with narcissistic traits include:

  • A lack of empathy.
  • A preoccupation with their own appearance and achievements.
  • A tendency to manipulate and control others.
  • A lack of respect for boundaries.

What are some strategies for coping with a female narcissist?

Strategies for coping with a female narcissist include setting boundaries, asking for support, and focusing on your own well-being. It may also be helpful to seek therapy in order to develop coping mechanisms and strategies for dealing with the narcissist’s behavior.

Bottom Line

Woman looking in mirror

Now that you have a better understanding of the traits and characteristics of female narcissists, it’s important to remember that not everyone who displays these traits is a narcissist. It’s important not to jump to conclusions or make assumptions about people without getting to know them first.

If you suspect that someone you know may be a narcissist, it’s important to approach the situation with caution and empathy. Remember that narcissism is often rooted in low self-esteem and a deep need for validation and attention. Criticism and confrontation can often exacerbate the problem, so it’s important to approach the situation with kindness and understanding.

If you are a teenager or a student, it’s important to remember that your self-worth does not depend on the approval of others. You are valuable and worthy just as you are, and you don’t need to seek validation from others to feel good about yourself.

If you struggle with low self-esteem or a sense of entitlement, it’s important to work on building a healthy sense of self-worth. This can involve seeking therapy, practicing self-care, and surrounding yourself with positive influences.

In conclusion, it’s important to approach the topic of narcissism with empathy and understanding. While it can be difficult to deal with narcissistic individuals, it’s important to remember that they are often struggling with deep-seated insecurities and a need for validation.

Better Relationships in Just 3 Minutes a Day

This newsletter is not just good - it delivers the best relationship advice to your inbox every morning Join thousands of subscribers discovering how to stop chasing emotionally unavailable people and start attracting true love.

Don't miss the chance to add your name to the list before the next edition goes live. If you want to take advantage of this opportunity, simply click the below to access our secure sign-up page.

Try the Newsletter
About the Author:
Ryan Hart

Ryan Hart is a certified relationship coach and writer. His mission is to help make connections between people better, stronger, more meaningful, and longer lasting using technology.

Want to connect with Ryan? Click here to get his FREE daily dating advice newsletter

Better Relationships in Just 3 Minutes a Day

The best relationship advice — in your inbox — every morning.

Join 2,000+ subscribers