How to Get Over a Breakup

by Ryan Hart | Updated on October 14, 2023 | Post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Going through a breakup can be one of the most difficult experiences you may face in life. It can leave you feeling heartbroken, lost, and unsure of how to move on.

But the truth is, getting over a breakup is possible, and with the right mindset and tools, you can heal and come out stronger on the other side.

The first step to getting over a breakup is to allow yourself to feel your emotions. It's perfectly normal to feel sad, angry, or even numb after a breakup.

Give yourself permission to grieve, and don't try to suppress your feelings. This can help you move through the healing process faster and more effectively.

Woman looking out window

Why Are Breakups So Painful?

The emotional distress and hurt caused by a breakup can often be overwhelming, leaving you feeling lost, confused, and alone.

It's normal to feel sad, angry and hurt after a breakup. You may experience a wide range of emotions, including grief, depression, anxiety, and even physical pain.

Pain is a natural response to emotional injury; a breakup can be a significant emotional injury. It's important to understand that the pain you feel after a breakup is real and valid.

You may feel like your world has been turned upside down, and that's okay. It's important to allow yourself to feel these emotions and to process them in your own way.

Grief is another common emotion after a breakup. You may feel like you're mourning the loss of the relationship, and that's because you are.

You're mourning the loss of the person you loved, the future you had planned together, and the life you had built. It's okay to grieve this loss, and it's important to give yourself time to do so.

What Are the Stages of Grief After a Breakup?

After a breakup, it's normal to feel a range of emotions, and it's important to recognize that these emotions are a natural part of the grieving process.

Understanding the stages of grief can help you navigate your emotions and move forward in a healthy way. Here are the three stages of grief you may experience after a breakup:

Denial

Denial is the first stage of grief, and it's a common reaction to a breakup. You may find yourself in disbelief that the relationship is over and that your ex-partner has moved on.

You may feel like you're in a dream or that the breakup isn't real. During this stage, it's important to remind yourself that the relationship is over and that denial won't change that fact.

Bargaining

Bargaining is the second stage of grief, and it's when you start to negotiate with yourself and your ex-partner about the relationship. You may find yourself thinking about all the things you could have done differently or wondering if there's a way to fix the relationship.

It's important to remember that bargaining won't change the fact that the relationship has ended. Instead, focus on accepting the reality of the situation and moving forward.

Acceptance

Acceptance is the final stage of grief, and it's when you start to come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over. You may still feel sad or angry, but you're no longer in denial or bargaining with yourself.

During this stage, it's important to focus on self-care and healing. Take time to do things that make you happy and spend time with friends and family who support you.

Managing Emotional Health

Breakups are tough, and it is normal to feel a range of emotions during this time. It is essential to take care of your emotional health during this period to avoid long-term effects. Here are some tips to help you manage your emotional health:

Acknowledge Your Emotions

It is natural to feel a range of emotions, such as sadness, anger, and loneliness, after a breakup. Acknowledge these emotions and allow yourself to feel them.

Seek Support

It can be helpful to talk to someone about your feelings in order to feel better. Seek support from friends and family who can listen to you without judging you. You can also take into account seeing a therapist who can help you manage your emotions.

Practice Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is crucial during this time. Make sure you get enough sleep, eat healthy, and exercise regularly. You can practice self-care to help you feel better and improve your mental well-being.

Avoid Negative Coping Mechanisms

Avoid using negative coping mechanisms such as alcohol or drugs to deal with your emotions. These coping mechanisms can lead to long-term effects on your mental health and can make it harder for you to move on.

Learning from the Breakup

One of the most important things you can do after a breakup is to take the time to reflect and learn from the experience. This can be a difficult and painful process, but it can also be incredibly valuable in helping you grow and move forward.

One thing you might consider is whether you have any regrets about the relationship. Are there things you wish you had done differently? Are there things you wish you had said or not said? Reflecting on these questions can help you identify areas where you might want to improve in future relationships.

In addition to reflecting on regrets, it can be helpful to think about what you learned about yourself through the breakup. For example, did you discover any patterns in your behavior or communication style that might have contributed to the breakup? Did you learn anything about your needs and desires in a relationship?

Taking the time to become more self-aware can be incredibly valuable in helping you grow and improve as a person. It can also help you make better choices in future relationships, as you will better understand what you are looking for and what you need to be happy and fulfilled.

Ultimately, while a breakup can be a painful and difficult experience, it can also be an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. By taking the time to reflect and learn from the experience, you can emerge stronger, wiser, and more self-aware than ever before.

The Healing Process

Going through a breakup can be tough, but the healing process can help you move on and start feeling better. Here are some tips to help you during the healing process:

Take time to mourn.

It's crucial to accept your feelings of grief and sadness after a breakup. Please give yourself time to mourn the loss of the relationship and the future you had imagined. It's okay to cry and feel sad, but don't let yourself get stuck in those emotions.

Express your emotions

Expressing your emotions is an important part of the healing process. Talk to a trusted friend or family member about how you're feeling. You can also write in a journal or create art to help you process your emotions.

Practice self-care

Take care of yourself during this difficult time. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and exercising regularly. Treat yourself to a massage or a spa day. Do things that make you feel good and help you relax.

Stay busy

Maintaining a busy schedule can distract you from the breakup and give you a sense of purpose. Try new hobbies or activities that you've always wanted to try. Spend time with friends and family, and make plans to do things you enjoy.

Seek professional help

If you're struggling to cope with the breakup, you may need professional help. A counselor can equip you with the tools and support you need to work through your emotions and move forward.

Self-Care Strategies

Going through a breakup can be tough, and taking care of yourself during this time is important. Here are some self-care strategies that can help you feel better:

  • Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you remain present and focused on the moment. Try meditation, breathing exercises, or yoga to help you relax and reduce stress.
  • Engage in hobbies: Hobbies can be a fantastic way to distract yourself and keep your mind occupied. Whether it's painting, hiking, or cooking, find something you enjoy and make time for it.
  • Stay active: Exercise can help you release endorphins and boost your mood. Go for a run, take a fitness class, or simply take a walk outside.
  • Reach out for support: Don't be afraid to contact friends or family for support. Talking to whom you trust can help you process your emotions and feel less alone.

Dealing with Loneliness

Loneliness is a common feeling after a breakup, and it can be challenging to deal with. You may feel like isolating yourself from others, but this will only make things worse. Here are some tips to help you deal with loneliness after a breakup:

  • Don't isolate yourself: It's essential to stay connected with others, even if you don't feel like it. Reach out to friends and family and spend time with them.
  • Focus on self-care: Take care of yourself by eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep.
  • Keep yourself busy: Find activities that you enjoy and that will keep you busy. You can try a new hobby, take a class, or volunteer in your community. Keeping yourself busy will help you take your mind off your ex and your breakup.
  • Be patient: It takes time to get over a breakup, and you may not feel better right away. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel your emotions. It's okay to cry, feel sad, or angry.

Rebuilding Social Connections

After a breakup, it's common to feel isolated and alone. You may have lost your romantic partner, but you don't have to lose your entire support system. Rebuilding social connections can help you feel less alone and more supported during this difficult time.

One way to rebuild your social connections is to reach out to current or former friends for support. It may feel uncomfortable or even daunting to do so, but remember that it's okay to rely on others for support while you grieve the end of your relationship.

Consider the following approaches:

  • Invite a friend to coffee or lunch.
  • Join a group or club that interests you.
  • Attend social events or gatherings.
  • Volunteer for a cause you care about.

Another way to rebuild social connections is to make new friends. This can be a struggle, but it's worth the effort.

Here are some tips:

  • Attend events or activities that interest you.
  • Join a class or workshop.
  • Volunteer for a cause you care about.
  • Use social media to connect with others who share your interests.

Moving On and Dating Again

Moving on from a breakup can be tough, but it's important to give yourself time to heal before jumping back into the dating world. Here are some tips to help you move on and start dating again:

  • Focus on yourself: Take time to rediscover who you are and what you want out of life. Make time for your hobbies and interests, and spend time with friends and family who support you.
  • Set realistic expectations: Don't expect to find your soulmate right away. It's okay to go on dates and not feel a connection. Be patient and keep an open mind.
  • Embrace positivity: Surround yourself with positive people and experiences. Focus on the good things in your life and try to stay optimistic about the future.
  • Be honest with yourself and others: If you're not ready to date again, that's okay. Don't force yourself into anything you're not comfortable with. And when you do start dating, be honest about your intentions and feelings.
  • Take it slow: Don't rush into anything too quickly. Take time to get to know someone before jumping into a serious relationship. And remember, it's okay to take a break from dating if you need to.

Handling a Bad Breakup

Breaking up can be tough, but a bad breakup can be even more difficult to handle. Whether it's due to betrayal, infidelity, or rejection, the pain can feel unbearable. Here are a few tips to help you handle a bad breakup:

  • Allow yourself to feel your emotions: It's okay to feel sad, angry, or hurt after a breakup. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions, and don't try to suppress them. Cry if you need to, scream if you need to, but don't bottle up your emotions.
  • Seek support from friends and family: Talk to your trusted friends and family about your feelings. They can offer you emotional support and help you feel less alone during this difficult time.
  • Cut off contact with your ex: It's important to give yourself space and time to heal after a bad breakup. Don't reach out to your ex or try to stay in contact with them.
  • Take care of yourself: Focus on self-care during this time. Eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep. Take time to do things you enjoy, like reading, watching movies, or spending time in nature.
  • Seek professional help if needed: If you're struggling to cope with your emotions or finding it hard to move on, consider seeking professional help.

Closure and Acceptance

After a breakup, it's common to feel like you need closure. Closure is the idea that you need a definitive end to the relationship in order to move on. However, closure is not always possible or necessary.

Sometimes, you need to accept that the relationship is over and move on without closure.

Acknowledging that the relationship is over is the first step towards acceptance.

This means accepting that the person you were with is no longer in your life and that the relationship is not going to work out. It's important to allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with this realization, whether it's sadness, anger, or disappointment.

Once you've acknowledged that the relationship is over, it's time to work towards acceptance. Acceptance means letting go of the past and moving forward with your life. This can be a difficult process, but it's important to remember that it's a process. It takes time to heal and move on from a breakup.

One way to work towards acceptance is to focus on the present moment. This means not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future but instead focusing on what you can do right now to improve your life. This could mean taking up a new hobby, spending time with friends and family, or focusing on your career.

Another way to work towards acceptance is to practice self-care. This means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This could mean exercising, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, or seeing a therapist.

Remember, closure is not always possible or necessary. Sometimes, you need to accept that the relationship is over and move on without closure.

Woman relaxing in pool

Bottom Line

There is no doubt that going through a breakup can be a challenging and emotional experience.

Fortunately, there are experts out there who can help you navigate this difficult period. Here are some tips from experts and directors to help you get over your breakup:

  • Give yourself time to heal: It's important to give yourself the same grace when healing from a broken heart that you would if you were recovering from a physical injury. Take the time you need to process your emotions and heal.
  • Take care of yourself: It's essential to prioritize your self-care during this time. This can be accomplished by getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, and exercising regularly. These healthy habits will help you feel better physically and emotionally.
  • Stay connected with loved ones: Surround yourself with helpful friends and family members who can offer you comfort and encouragement. They can also help keep you distracted and busy, which can be helpful during this time.

Everyone's journey to healing after a breakup is different. These tips from experts and directors can help guide you, but ultimately, it's up to you to find what works best for you.

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About the Author:
Ryan Hart

Ryan Hart is a certified relationship coach and writer. His mission is to help make connections between people better, stronger, more meaningful, and longer lasting using technology.

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