How to Get Over an Ex After a Breakup

by Ryan Hart | Updated on September 25, 2023 | Post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Getting over an ex can be a difficult and painful process, but it’s an essential part of moving on and finding happiness.

No matter how long you were together, the end of a relationship can leave you feeling lost, hurt, and confused. However, there are steps you can take to make the healing process more accessible and more manageable.

Woman sitting alone

Why are breakups so hard?

Having to break up with someone you love can be one of the most painful experiences of your life. The pain can be overwhelming, and it may feel like you’ll never be able to move on.

It’s important to understand that what you’re feeling is normal and that taking the time to heal is okay.

When you go through a breakup, you may feel like you’ll never be able to love again or that you’ll never find someone who understands you as well as your ex did. These feelings are normal, and it’s important to give yourself permission to feel them.

One of the reasons breakups can be so painful is that they often involve a loss of identity. In a relationship, you may define yourself in part by your connection to your partner.

When that connection is gone, it can be challenging to know who you are without them. It’s important to take the time to rediscover yourself and to figure out what makes you happy and fulfilled.

It’s also important to remember that healing takes time. You may feel like you should be over your ex by now, but there’s no timeline for healing. It’s okay to take the time you need to grieve your relationship’s loss and work through your emotions.

In the next section, we’ll discuss some strategies you can use to help you move on from your ex and start to heal.

Recognizing Your Emotions

A breakup can be an emotional rollercoaster. It’s important to recognize and acknowledge your feelings so that you can start to heal and move forward. Here are some common emotions you may experience and ways to deal with them.

Dealing with Anger

Anger is a natural response to a breakup, but it’s important not to let it consume you. Here are some ways to deal with anger:

  • Get your pent-up energy out by walking or exercising.
  • Write down your feelings in a journal or letter that you don’t send.
  • Practice deep breathing or meditation to calm your mind and body.
  • Seek the help of a therapist or counselor if your anger becomes overwhelming.

Coping with Sadness

Sadness is another common emotion after a breakup. It’s okay to cry and feel sad, but it’s important to take care of yourself during this time. Here are some ways to cope with sadness:

  • Allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgment.
  • Invest time in hobbies or activities that make you happy.
  • Take good care of your physical health.
  • Seek the help of a therapist or counselor if your sadness becomes overwhelming.

Grieving the Loss

Grieving the loss of a relationship is a process that takes time. It’s important to allow yourself to grieve and not rush the process. Here are some ways to grieve the loss:

  • Allow yourself to feel the pain of the loss without trying to numb it with drugs, alcohol, or other distractions.
  • Join a support group for people going through a breakup or divorce.
  • Seek the help of a therapist or counselor if you are struggling to cope with the loss.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to feel after a breakup. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and take care of yourself during this time. With time and self-care, you will start to heal and move forward.

The Healing Process

Going through a breakup can be a difficult and painful experience. It’s important to give yourself time to heal and recover. Here are some steps you can take to help you through the healing process.

Seek Professional Help

If you’re struggling to cope with the breakup, seek the help of a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with the support and guidance you need to navigate your emotions and work through any issues that may be holding you back.

You can also develop coping strategies and build resilience through therapy, which can be invaluable when dealing with the aftermath of a breakup.


Taking care of yourself is crucial during the healing process. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well, and staying active. Additionally, consider practicing meditation or mindfulness to help you stay centered and calm.

It’s also important to do things that bring you joy and make you feel good. Taking time for yourself can help you feel more positive and energized.


Healing is a process that takes time, and it’s important to be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and healthily work through them. This might mean journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or simply taking some time to reflect.

Remember that healing is not a linear process. You may have good days and bad days, and that’s okay. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the time and space you need to heal. With time, you’ll begin to feel more like yourself again.

Moving On

One of the most challenging experiences in life is breaking up with someone you once loved. However, moving on and starting a new chapter in your life is essential. Here are some tips to help you move on from your ex.

Embracing Independence

One of the most significant steps you can take towards moving on is embracing your independence. Take some time to focus on yourself and do things that make you happy.

This could be anything from taking up a new hobby to traveling to a new place. Spending time alone will help you rediscover who you are, and might even learn something new about yourself.

Letting Go of the Past

Letting go of the past is crucial when it comes to moving on. It’s easy to get stuck in the past and dwell on what could have been, but letting go of those thoughts is essential.

Another way to let go of the past is by removing any reminders of your ex from your life. This could be anything from deleting their number to unfollowing them on social media. It’s important to do this to avoid any triggers that might bring back memories of the past.

Coping Strategies

Going through a breakup can be tough, but there are ways to cope and move forward. Here are some coping strategies to help you get over your ex.

Exercise and Stress Relief

Stress can be relieved, and your mood can be boosted by exercising. Consider trying different forms of exercise, such as yoga, running, or dancing, to find what works best for you. You can also try other stress-relieving activities, like meditation or deep breathing exercises.

Writing as a Coping Mechanism

In order to process your feelings and thoughts, writing may be helpful. You can journal to write about your feelings and experiences. Also, you can write them letters that you don’t send or write things you wish you could say to them. In order to gain clarity and release your emotions, writing can be cathartic.

Establishing a Routine

Make a daily routine that includes activities you enjoy, such as reading, cooking, or spending time with friends. Having a routine can help you feel more productive and focused and provide a sense of structure during uncertainty.

Healthy Distractions

Distractions can be a helpful way to take your mind off of your ex and focus on other things. Consider trying new hobbies or activities, like painting, hiking, or learning a new language. You can also spend time with friends or family or volunteer in your community. Finding healthy distractions can help you feel more fulfilled and engaged in your life.

Managing Social Media

When it comes to getting over an ex, social media can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it can be a source of comfort and distraction, but on the other hand, it can also trigger feelings of sadness and nostalgia. Here are some tips for managing social media after a breakup.

Unfollowing Your Ex

Unfollowing your ex on all social media platforms is one of the first steps you should take. This will prevent you from seeing their updates and photos, which can be a constant reminder of your past relationship. It may be difficult to do, especially if you were used to checking their profiles daily, but it will help you move on faster.

If you need more time to be ready to unfollow them completely, you can also mute their posts or stories. This way, you won’t see their updates, but you can still check their profiles if you want to.

Dealing with Nostalgia

Social media can also trigger feelings of nostalgia, especially if you come across old photos or memories. To avoid this, you can try the following:

  • Archive or delete old photos of you and your ex
  • Avoid stalking their profiles or checking their updates
  • Unfriend or unfollow mutual friends who post about your ex

It’s important to remember that social media is not a reflection of reality. People only post the highlights of their lives, and it’s easy to get caught up in comparing your life to theirs. Instead of focusing on what your ex is doing, focus on your life and goals.

Using Your Support Systems

Moving on from the relationship can be challenging, and the process can be confusing and overwhelming. One way to help you through this process is by relying on a support system. Here are some ways to build and rely on a support system:

Relying on Friends

Friends can be a great source of support when you’re going through a breakup. They can listen to you vent, offer advice, and help you through the healing process. It’s essential to have friends who are supportive and non-judgmental during this time. You don’t want to feel like you’re being criticized or judged for your feelings.

Building a Support System

If you don’t have a strong support system, building one is essential. This can include seeking professional help, joining support groups, or even just reaching out to acquaintances who have gone through a similar experience. Building a support system can help you feel less alone during this time and give you a safe space to process your emotions.

When building your support system, it’s essential to consider the following:

  • Who can you rely on?
  • Who can you turn to when you need support?
  • Who can you trust to listen to you without judgment?

Having a strong support system can make all the difference when it comes to getting over an ex. It can help you process your emotions and move forward with your life. Remember to take care of yourself during this time, and don’t be afraid to reach out for support when you need it.

Starting a New Relationship

Getting into a new relationship after a breakup is exciting but also a bit daunting. Here are some tips to help you navigate this new chapter in your life:

Avoiding Rebound Relationships

It’s important to take some time to heal after a breakup before jumping into a new relationship. If you rush into a new relationship, you may end up in a rebound relationship, which may not be healthy for you or the other person involved.

A rebound relationship is when you enter into a new relationship shortly after a breakup, often to distract yourself from the pain of the breakup.

To avoid a rebound relationship, take some time to focus on yourself and your own healing before jumping into a new relationship. Try something new that you’ve always wanted to do, spend time with friends and family, or pick up a new hobby.

Entering the Dating Scene

When you do feel ready to start dating again, it’s important to take things slow and be honest with yourself and your potential partners.

Set realistic expectations for yourself and the relationship. Don’t rush into anything too quickly, and be open and honest with your potential partners about your past relationship and where you’re at emotionally.

Be careful not to compare your new partner to your ex, as this can be unfair and may cause unnecessary stress in the new relationship. Instead, focus on getting to know your new partner for who they are, and enjoy the experience of getting to know someone new.

The Importance of Closure

Breakups are challenging and emotionally draining. One of the most important steps in moving on is finding closure with your ex-partner. Closure allows you to come to terms with the end of the relationship and move forward with your life.

Finding Closure

Closure is not something that can be given to you by your ex-partner. It is something that you need to find within yourself. It may also include conversing with your ex-partner to gain clarity and understanding.

However, it is important to remember that closure is only sometimes necessary for everyone. Some people are able to move on without it, while others may find it helpful. It is up to you to decide if closure is something that you need.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a crucial part of the closure process. It allows you to let go of any anger or resentment towards your ex-partner and move on with your life.

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what happened or condoning their actions. It simply means releasing yourself from the negative emotions associated with the breakup.

Gaining a New Perspective

Gaining a new perspective can also be helpful in finding closure. This may involve taking a step back and looking at the relationship differently. It may also involve focusing on the positives from the breakup, such as personal growth or new opportunities.

Single woman celebrating

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does it take to get over an ex?

There is no set timeline for getting over an ex. It depends on the individual and the circumstances of the relationship. It’s important to give yourself time to heal and not rush the process. Some people may start to feel better after a few weeks, while others may take months or longer. Remember to be patient with yourself and take things one day at a time.

What are some effective ways to move on from a past relationship?

Moving on from a past relationship can be challenging, but there are some things you can do to help yourself heal. Some practical ways to move on include focusing on self-improvement, spending time with friends and family, trying new hobbies or activities, and seeking support from a therapist or counselor.

How can I stop thinking about my ex?

It’s normal to think about your ex after a breakup, but if it’s interfering with your daily life, there are some things you can do to help yourself stop. Try to limit contact with your ex, remove reminders of them from your living space and social media, and focus on self-care and self-improvement.

What are some healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with a breakup?

Some healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with a breakup include focusing on self-care and

self-improvement, getting support from friends and family, practicing mindfulness and meditation, and engaging in physical activity or exercise. It’s important to find what works best for you and to be patient with yourself as you heal.

How do I know when it’s time to let go of my feelings for my ex?

Letting go of your feelings for your ex can be difficult, but it’s important to recognize when it’s time to move on. Some signs that it may be time to let go include if you’re not making progress in healing if you’re constantly dwelling on the past, or if your ex has moved on and is in a new relationship. It’s important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness.

What are some tips for focusing on self-improvement after a breakup?

Focusing on self-improvement after a breakup can be a great way to help yourself heal and move on. Some tips for self-improvement include setting goals for yourself, trying new hobbies or activities, practicing self-care, and seeking support from a therapist or counselor. Remember to be patient with yourself and to take things one step at a time.

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About the Author:
Ryan Hart

Ryan Hart is a certified relationship coach and writer. His mission is to help make connections between people better, stronger, more meaningful, and longer lasting using technology.

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