19 Relationship Deal Breakers to Avoid

by Ryan Hart | Updated on October 9, 2023 | Post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

When it comes to relationships, there are certain things that can make or break them. These are commonly known as deal breakers.

They are the things that you simply cannot tolerate in a partner, no matter how much you love them. Deal breakers can vary from person to person, but some are more common than others.

One of the most common relationship deal-breakers is infidelity. Cheating can be devastating to a relationship and can cause irreparable damage.

Another common deal breaker is a lack of communication. Without communication, building a strong and healthy relationship can be difficult.

In this article, we reveal the most common deal breakers to watch out for, including a lack of trust, different values or beliefs, and a lack of effort or commitment.

It’s important to identify your own deal breakers early on in a relationship. This can help you avoid wasting time on a relationship that is not right for you.

Couple looking at lake and mountains in distance

What is a Deal Breaker?

When it comes to relationships, everyone has their own deal breakers. These are the things that you simply cannot tolerate in a partner, no matter how much you care for them.

Deal breakers can be anything from personality traits to lifestyle choices, and they are different for everyone.

It’s essential to understand what your deal breakers are before entering into a relationship. This will help you avoid wasting time and emotional energy on someone who is ultimately not a good match for you.

One common red flag that can be a deal breaker is dishonesty. If your partner lies to you, even about small things, it can erode trust and lead to bigger issues down the road.

Similarly, if your partner shows a lack of respect for you or your boundaries, it may be a non-negotiable issue for you.

Other common relationship deal breakers include:

  • Infidelity
  • Substance abuse
  • Different life goals
  • Incompatible values or beliefs
  • Lack of emotional intimacy
  • Inability to communicate effectively

It’s important to note that deal breakers are not necessarily negative traits or behaviors in and of themselves.

For example, having children may be a deal breaker for someone who does not want to be a parent, but it is not a negative trait. It simply means that the two individuals are not compatible in terms of their long-term goals.

Common Relationship Deal Breakers

When it comes to relationships, certain behaviors or situations can be deal-breakers for many people. Here are some common relationship deal breakers that you should be aware of:

Lack of Respect

Respect is a vital component of any healthy relationship. If your partner constantly belittles you, ignores your boundaries, or talks down to you, it can be a major red flag. The absence of respect can lead to feelings of resentment and hurt, and it can be difficult to build a strong, lasting relationship without mutual respect.

Trust Issues

Trust is another critical aspect of any successful relationship. If you find that your partner is consistently lying to you, hiding things from you, or engaging in behaviors that make you doubt their fidelity, it can be a major deal breaker.

Trust issues can be difficult to overcome, and a lack of trust can make it challenging to build a meaningful relationship with your partner.

Control Issues

There are many ways in which control issues can manifest, from attempting to dictate what you wear or who you spend time with to trying to control your finances or your career choices. If your partner constantly tries to control you or your life, it can be a significant deal breaker.

Addiction Problems

Addiction can be a tricky issue to navigate in any relationship. Whether your partner struggles with substance abuse, gambling, or other addictive behavior, it can be difficult to maintain a healthy, supportive relationship when addiction is present.

If your partner refuses to seek help or is unwilling to work on their addiction, it can be a major deal breaker.

Abusive Behavior

Abusive behavior can take many forms, from physical violence to emotional manipulation. If your partner engages in any type of abusive behavior, it is a clear deal breaker. Abuse is never acceptable in any relationship, and it is important to prioritize your safety and well-being.

Lack of Support

Support is a crucial element of any healthy relationship. If your partner consistently fails to support you emotionally, financially, or in other ways, it can be a major deal breaker. Support and encouragement are key components of healthy relationships, and a lack of support can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment.

Dishonesty

Honesty is a fundamental aspect of any successful relationship. If your partner consistently lies to you or withholds information, it can be a major deal breaker. Dishonesty erodes trust and can make building a strong, lasting relationship difficult.

Infidelity

Infidelity is a major deal breaker for many people. If your partner is unfaithful, rebuilding trust and moving forward in the relationship can be difficult. Infidelity can lead to feelings of betrayal and hurt, and it can be challenging to overcome these emotions.

Inconsistency

Consistency is important in any relationship. If your partner is consistently inconsistent, it can be a major deal breaker. Inconsistency can lead to feelings of confusion and frustration, and it can be difficult to build a strong, stable relationship when your partner’s behavior is unpredictable.

Lack of Chemistry

Chemistry is an essential component of any romantic relationship. If you find that you and your partner lack chemistry or are not physically attracted to each other, it can be a significant deal breaker.

While chemistry is not the only factor in a successful relationship, it is important, and it can be hard to build a strong emotional connection without it.

When it comes to personal values, there are certain deal breakers that can cause serious problems in a relationship. Here are some common deal breakers related to personal values:

Incompatible Life Goals

In the event that you and your partner have different life goals, it may be difficult to build a future together. For example, if one of you wants to explore the world and the other is looking to settle down and start a family, it can be hard to find a compromise. It’s important to have open and honest conversations about your life goals early on in the relationship to avoid any misunderstandings later on.

Financial Incompatibility

Money can be a major source of conflict in relationships. If you and your partner have different attitudes towards money, it can lead to arguments and resentment. For example, if one of you is a big spender and the other is a saver, it can be hard to find a balance.

It’s important to discuss your financial goals and attitudes towards money early on in the relationship to avoid any surprises down the road.

Different Religious Beliefs

There is no doubt that religion is a sensitive topic, and if you and your partner have different spiritual beliefs, it can cause conflict in your relationship. For example, if one of you is very religious and the other is not, it can be hard to find common ground.

It’s important to have open and respectful conversations about your religious beliefs early on in the relationship to avoid any misunderstandings later on.

In regards to relationships, health and lifestyle are important factors that can make or break a partnership. Here are some deal breakers related to lifestyle choices that you should consider when looking for a long-term partner.

Chronic Health Issues

If you or your partner have a chronic health issue, it can put a strain on the relationship. It’s important, to be honest about any health issues you may have and discuss how they may impact your relationship. Chronic health issues that can be deal breakers include:

  • Chronic pain
  • Depression or anxiety
  • Illnesses that are chronic, such as diabetes or heart disease

If you or your partner have a chronic health issue, it’s important to have open communication and to work together to find ways to manage the condition.

Weight Issues

Weight can be a sensitive topic, but it’s important to consider when it comes to relationships. If you or your partner are significantly overweight or underweight, it can impact your health and your relationship. Some weight-related deal breakers include:

  • Extreme weight gain or loss
  • Unhealthy eating habits
  • Lack of physical activity

It’s important to have a healthy lifestyle and to encourage your partner to do the same. If weight is a concern, consider discussing it with your partner and finding ways to support each other in making healthy choices.

Alcohol Abuse

Alcohol abuse can be a major deal breaker in relationships. If you or your partner have a problem with alcohol, it can lead to a number of issues, including:

  • Arguments and fights
  • Financial problems
  • Health issues

If alcohol abuse is a concern, it’s important to seek help and support.

When it comes to relationships, emotional well-being is crucial. Here are some deal breakers related to emotional well-being that you should be aware of.

Unresolved Anger Issues

If your partner has unresolved anger issues, it can be a major deal breaker. You may find yourself constantly walking on eggshells around them, never knowing when they might blow up. This can be incredibly stressful and anxiety-inducing, and it can take a serious toll on your emotional well-being.

Lack of Empathy

Empathy is a key component of any healthy relationship. If your partner lacks empathy, it can be a major red flag. They may be unable to understand your feelings or perspective, which can lead to a lot of frustration and resentment.

Over time, this can erode the emotional connection between you and your partner, making it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship.

Isolation Tendencies

If your partner tends to isolate themselves from others, it can be a major deal breaker. This can manifest in a number of ways, from refusing to socialize with your friends and family to spending all their time alone. This can be incredibly isolating for you, leaving you feeling unsupported and alone.

Overcoming Deal Breakers

Dealing with deal breakers in a relationship can be challenging but not impossible. Here are some ways to overcome deal-breakers in your relationship:

Effective Communication

Effective communication is essential in overcoming deal breakers. It is important to communicate your thoughts and concerns with your partner in a clear and respectful manner. Listen to your partner’s perspective as well, and try to understand where they are coming from.

Avoid making assumptions and jumping to conclusions. Be open and honest with each other, and work together to find a solution that works for both of you.

Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is crucial in overcoming deal breakers. Boundaries help establish what is and is not acceptable in a relationship. Be clear about your boundaries and communicate them to your partner. Respect your partner’s boundaries as well.

Remember, boundaries are not meant to control or restrict your partner but rather to create a safe and healthy environment for both of you.

Seeking Professional Help

Sometimes, dealing with deal breakers may require professional help. A therapist can also help you and your partner navigate difficult conversations and find ways to overcome deal-breakers.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some common deal breakers in a relationship?

There are many common deal breakers in a relationship. Some of the most common ones include dishonesty, lack of communication, trust, infidelity, and financial issues.

Other deal breakers may include differences in values or beliefs, incompatible lifestyles, and lack of emotional support.

What is considered the top dating deal breaker?

According to a survey, the top dating deal breaker is being unclean. Other top deal breakers include living too far away, bad sex, and having different interests or hobbies. It is important to note that what may be a deal breaker for one person may not be for another.

What are the seven relationship deal breakers?

Past research suggests that there are seven primary relationship deal breakers. These include being physically abusive, emotionally abusive, having anger issues, being unfaithful, having different religious beliefs, having different values, and having different lifestyle goals.

It is important to remember that these deal breakers may vary from person to person, and what may be a deal breaker for one person may not be for another.

Bottom Line

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In conclusion, understanding your deal breakers is an essential step in any relationship. Knowing what you can and cannot tolerate can allow you to avoid wasting time and energy on a relationship that is doomed to fail.

While it’s important to be clear about your deal breakers, it’s also important to remember that compromise is a crucial aspect of any successful relationship. You may need to be flexible and willing to compromise on some of your deal breakers to make your relationship work.

Remember that new love can be exciting and intense, but it’s essential to take the time to get to know your partner and understand their values, beliefs, and behaviors before committing to a long-term relationship.

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About the Author:
Ryan Hart

Ryan Hart is a certified relationship coach and writer. His mission is to help make connections between people better, stronger, more meaningful, and longer lasting using technology.

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